The World Is In Need Of Nuance
Holding Difficult Conversations in Heartspace
I’ve been craving to build a community that affirms the qualities I most fear losing— compassion, open-heartedness and lovingkindness.
I fear losing them because like so many people in this world, I too get flooded with difficult feelings when I read the news. I too get pulled into old well-worn patterns of anger, fear, hatred, injustice, betrayal. And then I judge myself for feeling those feelings. For not being loving, open-hearted and compassionate enough.
I’ve had enough training in meditation and trauma work to understand that this self-judgement is a shared human experience. It is not our fault.
Deep down inside we are all aware on some level that the only lasting way forward is by fostering true interpersonal, societal and political relationships.
And that starts by first witnessing and holding each other’s suffering as real. For this we need Fierce Courage and a Tender Heart.
But wait, who am I?
My name is Michael Arkof. And I am a writer. I’ve been debating whether to call myself a writer after leaving the world of screenwriting and becoming a meditation teacher. But alas, once a writer, always a writer.
I wrote many a bushels of TV and Feature Film screenplays over my 13 year career.
And then?
I had a nervous breakdown.
But then?!
I healed! (That’s a whole story).
Suffice to say, I found a great therapist. I dove into meditation, reparenting, somatics and inner child work. I discovered the importance of not just talking about, but practicing self-compassion and how that builds resilience.
I joined a deep and now waitlisted 2 year Mindfulness Meditation Certification Program to learn directly from teachers who pioneered meditation in the West. People like Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield.
I started a social media page to help others heal. I was asked to coach and entered the personal 1:1 healing space.
But I never lost my desire to write and I kept going back to Instagram to do so. And in doing so I kept getting stuck.
Writing about the nuance of heartspace on a platform that rewards loud, fast, flashy content often feels like whispering into a storm of static.
It’s Time for Growth
This means dispelling the myth of “perfectionism,” and the never ending search to “fix” ourselves and others as though we are broken. I’m guilty of this too. It’s a human condition.
But it’s time to wake up from this trance.
That is why I’m creating Fierce Courage | Tender Heart to explore deeper. A space away from social media. In social media our loneliness services the algorithm. Our separateness is the product.
But in here the product is our relationship— that is what I am in service of.
Because whenever we exchange ideas we enter into a relationship. And in that vessel what we are really exchanging is energy.
The question for me then becomes, is the energy we’re putting out empowering or disempowering our vessel?
It’s Time for Nuance
There is no winning in relationships.
If our goal is to bridge divides then I can’t overstate the importance of nuance in service of building compassion. It’s especially important in sensitive topics like race, religion, gender, sexual identity, etc.
Which is why when I dig into sensitive topics I will do so with research and nuance. And if you have a deeper nuance to present, you can answer right back. This is as much a learning experience for me as it is for you.
A quick note: If your world split into right and wrong, this is not the place for you.
If, however, you believe our events and experiences are marbled…
…with happiness, pain, pleasure, loss, joy, grief— a multitude cacophony of emotions… If you believe no one person, no one race, creed, sex, gender, sexual preference is a monolith… I think you’ll fit right in.
If you enjoy the discomfort and (for some reason now considered) heresy of reaching across the political, cultural and social aisle— well, you moderate rebel, this is the place for you.
At the end of the day, I want to hold-up the sacred beauty life and the discovery of everyday ordinary happiness in the face of the ugliness we see projected on our digital screens. And though at times the topics discussed may be heavy, the intention is always to hold YOU up with open-hearted loving kindness.
The Specifics
I will be posting to Fierce Courage | Tender Heart once a week on Thursdays. The subscription will be free for now. As the community grows I may add a paid subscription with services like meditations, masterclasses, and a podcast.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for your presence.